Poetic Attempt || Three

oftentimes i find myself
wondering what could have been
had i stayed

(had i turned away
from the freedom
i couldn’t touch
i couldn’t feel
i couldn’t grasp
because you hid it from me)

and became who you wanted me to be

oftentimes i find myself
thinking maybe i was wrong
had i stayed

(had i listened
to what you wanted
i wouldn’t have cried
i wouldn’t have failed
i wouldn’t have broken myself
but i wouldn’t have tasted vodka)

i could have been who you wanted me to be

oftentimes i find myself
thinking maybe i was — or am still — right
had i stayed

(had i allowed you to chain me
i’m certain i would have
cried for different reasons
failed for different reasons
broken myself for different reasons
and maybe even in different ways)

i would not be

(Written on July 06, 2016)

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First of her name. Queen of millennials and the constantly caffeinated. Protector of books. Breaker of norms. Iskolar ng bayan.

13 thoughts on “Poetic Attempt || Three”

  1. AHHHH what have I been doing?! I’ve been so busy and I haven’t been catching up with all these wonderful posts, I didn’t know you came back! So before I say anything, WELCOME BACK! I’ve missed you ❀ ❀ Secondly, I love love love these poems! They're all so lovely and you're writing is fantastic! πŸ™‚ I love reading them so much! Glad to see you back!

    Liked by 1 person

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